How Come?

How come I wasn’t motivated this morning to wake up and get to the pool? How come I skipped it all together? How come my legs hurt when I took my very short slow ride today? How come I’m not always a ball of energy?

I’m not a robot. I have up days and down days just like every other person on the planet. I’d like to be superman, but I’m far from being him.

How come I don’t try harder? How come I just accept things the way they are sometimes? How come I dream big, but stop myself from giving my all? How come I waited until my 40th year to do this? How come I don’t have answers to any of these questions?

Is it really inner strength (or intestinal fortitude as wrestling announcers from the 80′s would say) that pulls you through tough times? There’s a glimmer, a light, a flame that won’t go out. It’s in there. Even on the darkest days and the earliest mornings. I denied it this morning, but can’t deny it tonight. How come it’s there to begin with? How come?

How come can motivate, how come can discourage. How come can confuse and clarify. I’m going to continue asking how come questions until I die and my soul will ask how come I died.